happyreader...I really feel for you (and your daughter). My DD is in 3rd and very discouraged. They don't do anything for her, almost to the point where it's like they neglect average things, like correcting her papers correctly. For instance, she gets 100% on a spelling test, and I have to sign it but there are three wrong answers that haven't been marked wrong. So, I'm in the position of choosing to point out to my daughter that her teacher is not correcting the test right, or allowing my daughter to think that she got spelling words correct when she didn't. Same with spelling homework, the teacher let her spell one of the words on the list incorrectly all week. Same with the math test, she clearly got an answer wrong but it's not marked wrong. DH said it's like she's a complete write-off in class, they put no effort into her at all. The teacher is nice and sings her praises, but doesn't do anything to adjust the curriculum for her and she's just on the sidelines. This year she has no behavioral issues and I thought they'd step it up for her if she "proved herself" such as the carrot they've been hanging in front of her nose but they don't. The last conversation I had with the teacher it sounded like this year was designated for her to grow socially and emotionally, but they said that last year too. They say they "teach the whole child" and I say academics is at least half of the whole, so it's fine to address the social/emotional but I send her to school to learn academics as well and she simply doesn't.
If your daughter says something about school you can ask her what she thinks about it and how she feels, and validate if she is correct. Sometimes it's appropriate to call a spade a spade but not go on about how frustrated you are in front of your daughter. There is probably alot of stuff she notices at this point and might need to have an understanding ear without going off the deep end, which is probably what you feel like doing!!
My daughter has never said anything bad about school so far this year but recently she just sobs and says she is so bored and nobody ever teaches anything she doesn't already know. I say that her father and I know and are trying to be very nice and respectful to the school, but don't find it acceptable that she doesn't learn anything...but don't know exactly what to do just now, and are working very hard on it. She seems calmed down by that. She seems like she didn't realize we were aware of this, because we always try to act so cheerful for her all the time. It sort of broke the ice, but she was the one who made the first move.
However, at home my daughter still throws herself into things like LEGO and singing and working on her bike riding. She also reads junky books in school to fit in but is studying American history at home from library books, so she is not in as bad shape as your DD. Does summer vacation come soon for her? Can she take any camps then or on spring break (we havent' had ours yet but everyone is on a different schedule) or can you take her someplace like a big science museum, a few days in a hotel with an indoor pool, etc.? Sometimes science museums have student guides online that you can print out that are sort of meant for field trips but are publicly available. I've done that with my DD. Once I made a copy and sent it to the education department at the science museum and DD got the most wonderful letter back from them, encouraging her to pursue her passion no matter what.
For me, I can't do this every year. I don't know what that will translate into, but we do have some testing scheduled for later this spring to get updated and more detailed information and will take it from there.
Your DD sounds like she needs a little hope, validation, and a bit of a break. Best wishes.
