Hi Amber,
Count us in on the list of having a PG boy with ADHD, sensory processing issues, and multiple food allergies. It definitely makes life interesting. My DS11 is in 8th grade, and we struggle with the problem of contact allergies as well. In addition to problems in the lunchroom, we also have problems with basic material in school: glue, wet wipes and hand sanitizer, markers, playdough (when he was younger), and I just found out this week... good old pens can have corn in them. So I can commiserate. I frequently think how much easier our life would be if we just threw in the towel and homeschooled.
For birthday parties and snack, I just brought in a stash of acceptable foods that the teacher could keep there and pull out when she needed it. If a child was bringing in something like cupcakes for a birthday party, then I asked the teacher to call me the day before, so that I could make a safe snack that looked like everyone else's snack. Sometimes this worked, and sometimes it didn't, depending on the teacher. Like so many other aspects of being different from the rest of the kids, it really came down to each individual teacher and whether or not they understood the allergies and the social/bullying aspect of being different. Some teachers were great. Others... not so much.
We have seen a lot of Dr. Amend over the past few years. He is wonderful, and I can't say enough praise about him!! He truly understands PG kids and the problems that they have in school, both academically and socially. He also understands 2E kids, particularly the interplay between PGness, underchallenging education, and ADHD. But I don't think he does neuropsych evals. I know that he can not write a prescription for ADHD meds, and referred us to a psychiatrist during our two not-very-happy trials of encapsulated trauma. I'm pretty sure that if he did neuropsy evals, then he would have suggested it for us by now.
