@ Monetfan- my dd7 was the youngest in her kindergarten class-A summeR birthday with a September cut off- in a school district with a lot of red shirting- the school district had a full day K option only- she was emotionally spent every day- often would fall asleep on the 2 block drive home. She Was also the tallest and did not understand she was a year or more younger than everyone else-because she was bigger- she had a crappy teacher and at the end of the day she was not emotionally ready for moving to 1st grade. academically she was ready- but that is not always the most important thing. She knew another kid who was repeating Kindergarten that year and she begged us to let her repeat the following year. That was not the only reason we did it but It was the best decision we ever made- her confidence is incredible now when she was so insecure being the youngest. Our decision was not based on the other kids and competition it was based on her needs. I was the youngest in my class and hated it.
My gifted ds was sick in 2nd grade- very very sick and is also a summer birthday one of the youngest in his class- he repeated 2nd grade because he missed so much school. We did not know what his treatment was or if his gifted mind was going to recover- yes it was that bad. We found out his diagnosis in end of March of 2nd grade and without knowing what his recovery would look like and since his brain was affected- we petitioned for him to repeat- even though there was no academic reason for it- far from it( and switched schools for a fresh start). It took over a year to recover and now 2 years later his brain is back to what we thought it should be- he is blowing through the academics but is in the right peer level- he is not the oldest but he is a leader and one of the oldest. We did not hold him back to gain academic advantage- we did it to help him heal and to help him. Once again- best decision we could of made. Yes we did them both at the same time and switched schools- the old school was a horror story in itself. It would not matter if he was in 3rd, 4th or 5th right now- he would blow through whatever curriculum was presented but he fits with the friends he has there.( yes he tests in the top percentilesin the standardized tests in the grade he should be too) We found a school that will accelerate to his academic needs- he knows he needs it but he wants to stay with his friends for another year and work on his own. I figure by the time junior high hits his quirks might not be so well received and he will be ready to move. The school recoginzes that he needs GT more than another kid in the school( quote from the gifted teacher) so to say because he was redshirted he should not get gifted enrichment- you don't know why a kid was held back and it sounds like you want to make sure you kid does not get outperformed by one that is a little older- or why else would you care? You are sounding like one of those competitive parents yourself- why forbid a child like my son the gifted pullout he qualifies for and deserves.
Why not let a kid play sports if they are over 18? Who is it hurting? I was a gifted athlete and the youngest in my class- I beat all the older kids- if you are good then playing against the older kids does not matter- it just makes you better and unless we are trying to coddle our kids it is called reality.
Sorry but this really hits a nerve for me because there are so many assumptions and most parents don't redshirt to try and compete with our seriously gited kids. Most of our kids are in a completely different academic world than the kids that are red shirted to give them a little advantage- who cares if they do- it is their right!
I could care less how my child is reading compared to the next kid- whether they are older or younger- it is how they are progressing in their own growth.
Not everyone is looking for their child to be The Little Prince but instead find the right emotional, academic and social balance for their child.
Sorry if my son's debilitating illness that caused him to repeat a grade to heal would not meet your standards for a gifted program- or my very tall daughter should not play basketball her senior year because it might- just might give them an advantage over your child from getting to be the Little Prince. Trust me my decisions about their school and academics have nothing to do with anyone else but their needs and refuse to let my kids be a Little Prince or Princess in the first place.