I seem to have missed at least two posts in the middle ofthe thread yesterday, not surprising when I was (am) reading on my phone while moving house.
Dude we had a similar no "because I said so" principle. But I find I say something along those lines more often now and have regular conversations with my almost 10 year old about the fact that she needs to show more respect and trust that we don't ask/instruct things she might like for the fun of it but rather always have a reason and that she needs to show that respect/trust and do as she's asked and not start a debate at an inappropriate time. And the 5.5 yr old is about 5 mins behind the eldest there too. It's really quite frustrating having raised strong minded children who expect an explanation now that life has gotten to the point that it often isn't possible to give one (right then). I don't think there is a deliberate lack of respect, I am pretty sure they trust and respect me more than their teachers, but with me they expect answers, while at school they just do what they are told. They are having to now learn when to ask questions and when to just do as asked.
For us "because I said so" does not equal "there is no reason" it equals "you need to be able to realize that when the toddler is having a screaming fit in a busy carpark (and we are running late for X) is not the time to ask questions, you need to do what you are told simply because I said so - and you believe me to be a reasonable and thoughtful person who must have a good reason for asking (whatever)"
Indeed, but instead of saying "Because I said so," we say, "Not right now, just do it, we'll talk about it later," or some fractional portion thereof. "Not now." "Do it." "Later."
