We have a very clear image of how we want our lives to be. I want to work from home on my online business and DH wants to work from home programming. We want to homeschool our kid(s) and we want to be able to travel randomly, as we wish. We are in the first stage of making that dream happen right now. I just hope we can get it together to actually be able to function while working at home!
I have tried soooo hard to get him to agree to a schedule. He adamantly opposes it. He just got out of the military and wants no part of schedules or early waking hours. I get it, but he needs to get over it so we can get some control over our lives.
I completely understand the deep resentment at the idea of a schedule that is imposed from the outside. But a schedule that you build yourself to take control of your own life, to ensure that you get to do all of the things you want to do and meet your own personal goals, is an entirely different animal - it is a tool to help you meet your needs, not a prison. You make it, and you can, at need, change it if it isn't working well for you, or if there truly is a good reason to modify it on a given day. There is no requirement to get up early to have a schedule, BTW. Your schedule starts when you do. Having blocks of time set aside where you each know that you have nothing you need to do but work on your projects, and even blocks of time where you are free to play video games or read or sleep without interruption, as well as blocks where you are each only working at being a parent, can really do a great deal to relieve the stress of feeling like your are multi-tasking 24/7, and might really help you both enjoy the time you spend with your child more, as well as helping you both be more productive.
It might be helpful to collect some baseline-type data over a week or two to see when, on average, each of you actually gets work done (or seriously wants to and feels capable of doing so if not interrupted), so that you can be sure to schedule that person's baby-duty-free work time during a time when they can actually get work done effectively.
If you approach the idea of a schedule as "I want to be sure that you have uninterrupted time during the week to get everything that you need to do accomplished, so let's work out when I need to take care of the baby and when you can take the baby, and when we might realistically need to have an in-home sitter..." it might seem much less like the military regimentation he loathes and more like a way for him to get what he needs.
