I wish I'd known that what looked like "lazy" (as in refusing to do homework, refusing to get dressed, etc) wasn't lazy at all, that instead they were red flags for a hidden disability. I wish I hadn't automatically assumed that his quirky behaviors (what looked like perfectionism and disinterest etc) and that someone had thought to suggest I look at a few lists of typical symptoms of learning disorders instead of everyone being so awed by ds' verbal output that we were all only looking at lists of traits of high-IQ kids. Oddly enough those special "quirks" can appear on both lists!
What I really wish is that there was more input from his pediatrician at an early age. We filled out those "Denver" developmental surveys at all our well-child checks and all seemed to be fine, but in hindsight after having been through developmental questions when his disability was diagnosed, it seems like there are more than a few developmental questions that could/should have been asked earlier on. (DS has developmental coordination disorder). Your note about your ds not wanting to dress himself brings that to mind. Our ds hated to dress himself, seemed like he was just not trying etc - it took a neuropsych eval in 2nd grade before we realized he had fine motor difficulties and really was having a hard time trying to do those type of tasks.
I also wish I'd spoken up more in advocating for him for gifted services at school. Our school district is not exactly accommodating, and I'm not a contentious person by nature. I've had to really step outside of my personality in learning to effectively advocate for our ds.
polarbear
