I wouldn't worry too much about what Clueless had to say. And I wouldn't judge how his parents would behave as guardians because of HIS viewpoint.
It sounds to me like sour grapes and jealousy.
I deal with this first-hand. I have a 17-year-old stepdaughter who is not gifted and has trouble academically. She moved in with us full-time last year and her grades have really improved now that she is in a better home situation.
However, because of her own insecurities, it bugs her that DD7 is gifted and in a gifted program. She doesn't assert that I somehow "trained" DD to be gifted or that DD isn't doing anything unusual. My stepdaughter DOES claim that she could be gifted herself, though, and that she could have been in a gifted program, too, if her mom had handled things differently.
Um, no, she couldn't. She is a wonderful girl with many wonderful qualities, but she is not intellectually gifted.
When she makes those assertions, DH and I just mentally smile and roll our eyes and carry on. My guess is this cousin is just saying things to make himself feel better, like my stepdaughter, and is NOT making any assertions about the family position on gifted education.
The parents may not fight as hard as you would for your son's education, but then again, your brother might not, either (especially with so many other children requiring his attention). The fact is, no guardian is going to handle things exactly the way you would. But I wouldn't downgrade them based on something a know-it-all 20-something said.
