Others, who are more high in 'EQ' (emotional IQ scale) just find ways to blend in, underachieve, and get so used to everything coming to them easily, that when the work finally starts to get hard, and it doesn't come 'instantly' then they give up and conclude that everyone was wrong about their smartness. That's the scary one, and young females are - in my observation - particularly vulnerable to falling into this category.
I think to her it is simply an part of who she is and she's learned to completely blend in, and so unless you knew you'd almost never know. Of course until you actually pay attention. So, she will get lost in the shuffle if I don't insist on more for her and she will eventually be hit upside the head when something is actually hard for her and she will dumb down herself in order to fit in
Sometimes it's a bit strange how these wildly dissimilar kids come up with such similar patterns of reacting to the classic challenges of bening outliers. It isn't that I know your DD personally, it's that I know 'what anyone facing her challenges in her situation might do.' Speaking as a female, there is a lot of biological pressure to fitting in! I'm one of those people who believes that for most of us, we are built so that the biologically smart thing is also what feels good. Maybe males reproduce better if they make a habit of standing out, showing off, and not fitting in, but I doubt those stratagies help females nurture children succesfully except in rare circumstances.
And that also explains why we moms have to fight our own personalities to advocate successfully. It just isn't easy to say 'hey, my kid needs something different that what's working for all the other kids. Let's step out of the box and do something different!'
See what I mean?
Grinity
