Having an iPhone in class was actually against the co-op's rules. When the writing composition teacher announced that there would be about 15 short answer essay questions requiring answers of at least several sentences each in addition to some multiple choice questions, I knew there was no way my son could finish in one hour. He did not want to advocate for himself because he knew he had a high enough average that he could pass the class even if he got a bad grade on this test. I didn't want him to settle for a lower grade just because of a disability. We had never really talked about how important grades are since this was the first class he had taken since kindergarten where a grade was given. He looked at it like what was learned was more important than the grade and there would be no difference in what he learned, the difference would only have been in what he could show that he knew. It was not worth it for him to risk letting others,like the cute girls in the class, know that he needed to use some kind of accommodation.
I asked for opinions of teachers on teachers.net about the use of an iPhone for typing essay questions answers. One said I was mistaken if I thought no other students would notice and negatively judge the iPhone use. They said what they would see was a kid who thinks he is above the rules and can do whatever he wants, even though phones are against school rules. The teachers.net teacher said hiding the Iphone will cause social issues and it was better for him to follow the rules and use something like an alsphasmart instead. I disagree but I seem to be in the minority.
I just have a feeling that the co-op leaders would feel the same way as the teachers on teachers.net so I am afraid to ask them. I felt that the teacher would understand and she did, which is why I asked her. The co-op leaders are very rule oriented. They are very strict about other things like the types of clothing that can be worn to class. They are very religious and if you say the wrong thing or disagree with something they believe you can get kicked out. My son and I are very aware of this because we have experience with ultra religious family members. He would have rather taken a lower grade than go against their rules. I can understand how he would be reluctant to advocate for himself in this environment. We both worry that we might say the wrong thing to the other members of this co-op. He doesn't know which books or movies are considered by them to be appropriate. A lot of members of our community believe it is wrong to read or watch Harry Potter or play video games. It is one of the reasons he doesn't want to go back.
Our experience has been that the ultra religious people like the people in our co-op and family avoid people and things that go against their views. We are not rejecting them. It is the other way around. My very social daughter moved away from here and rarely goes to our extended family dinners because of the way our family makes her feel. She has lots of friends who invite her over for holiday dinners and she says they all seem to love each other and are not so judgmental. It was healthier for her to move away. My son will move away the first chance he gets and I will miss him but I know this will be the healthiest thing for him. I want him to be able to move away from here.
By the way, Facebook makes it so much easier to see what the people in my family and the co-op believe. I recently read all of their comments about how horrible it was to let kids read or watch Harry Potter and it isn't just Harry Potter, it is anything with witches or wizards or any kind of fantasy. When one of my relative's facebook friends said she would never let her child watch or read Harry Potter or even Disney shows, my relative thanked her for her convictions and said it was a matter of what you put in you will get out. So they watch us and see that my son is reading things they would never allow and playing video games in his free time which they also don't allow and they act like they don't really want my son around their kids, yet they go to public school and are exposed to all kinds of things I don't think she would agree with which doesn't make sense to me but I would never say anything to her about that. It is none of my business.
My son and I just don't know how to carry on a conversation with people in my family who don't read anything except the Bible and talk about sports that we are not interested in. I have reason to believe they think people with disabilities might be more sinful than they are and are being punished by having this disability. Since I have a mother who was a wonderful and very religious woman before suffering a complication during surgery that caused severe brain damage and a son with mild disabilities, I do have a problem being around people who feel this way. They volunteer to help with meals for the homeless and tell everyone about it but they don't visit their sick relatives like my mother or my dad. I think this might be one reason my son thinks he needs to hide his disabilities. I think it is healthier for my son and me to just be polite to people like this when we have to see them but limit contact with them if we can.
The musical theater people in our town have felt some of the same things we have felt. They consider the musical theater group to be family. The kids love each other like brothers and sisters and are very supportive of each other unlike our real family so we are lucky to have this in our community. I don't think my son really has mental health issues because of the love and support he receives there. In this group he has the opportunity to use his gifts and he sees other kids that can't memorize or sing or do some things as well as he can, but they can dance better than he can. It is a very healthy environment for him to be in. He is very social with kids of all ages when he is with this group and I hear him laughing and talking a lot when I go to pick him up. When I brought him lunch yesterday he was sitting in a corner surrounded by four or five girls and he was smiling and talking to them. No wonder he doesn't want me to stay.
My daughter often tells my son that he will find it is very different when he moves away from here. She says most people she has met are not like a lot of the people she met in the town we live in. She even told me that it felt like we were the only normal people here. We moved here from the city where people tend to read more and who are more accepting of differences. We had no idea it would be like this here. I don't know how a psychologist would help us with this kind of situation.
