There is something to be said for getting a diagnosis. My D (now 16) has had so many of the same issues you describe, and really is just getting some EF "sea legs" this year as a sophomore in high school. No amount of list making, sticker charts, planners (lost, left out in the rain), timers (lost), electonic tools (lost), assignment notebooks, folder systems, etc. helped. I am pretty organized, so we tried LOTS of things over the years, none of which made much difference. Even when she wanted to, she just couldn't get organized.
A couple of years ago she was diagnosed with a non-verbal learning disorder. This has helped us in a few ways:
- It helps her and me to know (and remember) that she isn't being dumb or willful when she has EF problems. Her brain does not process correctly in that area. She has worked harder to master skills and techniques to organize herself since getting the diagnosis, and I have definitely become more patient when problems occur sometimes. I just help her out, and we talk calmly about how to avoid the same problem in the future.
- Her teachers are aware, and last year especially they gave her some extra reminders and cut her some slack if she turned in something a day or two late. Like your son, she does her homework, just doesn't always remember to take it or turn it in. This year she seems to be doing better, only a few lapses. Which is good, since college is only 2 years away.
- In looking at colleges, we have been considering what will be best for a kid who has organization issues. Several on her list have trimesters (only 3 classes at a time for shorter terms) instead of 4 or 5 classes at a time. We also have one college on her list that has block scheduling (1 class in each 3 week period). We have some other colleges with "normal" schedules on the list, too -- she did make improvements this year, so she will visit and might apply to some where she would take 4 classes at a time. Her high school has block scheduling, and this quarter she had 3 academic honors classes, and got As in all of them. So I am starting to think that maybe she can handle a regular college schedule. But we are keeping her options open
- One thing that has helped in high school is that they all have laptops (school provided) that they HAVE to have for all classes. She puts "stickies" (like an electronic post-it) on her laptop desktop to remind herself of things. That has been helpful.
- I have joined an online group for parents of gifted kids with NVLDs. They have had good advice on things like when and how to teach my D to drive. So having a diagnosis can help you find books and other people to connect with who will have some suggestions you might find helpful.
I do add a recommendation for FlyLady to what everyone says above. Babysteps for you and your DS
But getting the diagnosis is a good thing.
