Lukemac, sounds like a good plan. The private evaluation is key (the school may or may not have the expertise, but I would be doubtful). Make sure the neurologist has seen lots and lots of kids with autism spectrum disorders; there is no substitute for a trained specialist.
Grappling over your own kid is not a surprise to me. It took us lots of trying and false starts before we could start figuring our own out. The gifted/ASD menu of possibilities is full of interesting shades of gray and loads of frustrations, but wow, these kids also have so many possibilities.
Will be thinking of you.
DeeDee
