Oh lukemac, hang in there! I can understand being worried and fed up as you reach for the advil!!
I totally agree about the not asperger's, not that I am expert in that area but it sounds to me just like total immersion, what caught me in your story is not that he is singing and listening, but that he is cataloging and patterning and learning. He is studying this - I know a kid like this about cars, he doesn't play just with cars, or video games, he knows every car name, can spot a car by it's sound, his mother thought it as nuts, and a waste of attention, but thats what he like, so of course they fed it. With iTunes and pandora he has a never ending supply of new information. Most kids do not hav the singular focus like these types - I don't think it's a bad thing - other than how much it annoys you but my sense is the all encompassing is what annoys you - so maybe try to find fun things to do where it is impossible to access music - harder these days with iPods and the like - but super fun things that might spark his interest like at a children's museum. Or science museum or trekking through a park.
Just some thoughts, but if he can't be distracted I hear Bose makes awesome sound proofing head phones
DeHe
