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No, he definitely does not have ADHD or ASD. He was just extremely focused for that age in his preschool years. He has since developed in the arts of multitasking and social interactions. He was extremely successful in high school, academically, as well as in sports and music and is at college now. Last year, as a sophomore, he was his college’s head sports coach, Div A athlete, sports rep, choir pianist, band keyboard player, chess representative, talent show winner (with blindfold speedcubing) and student council member. All whilst maintaining a perfect GPA in engineering, an active social life and working as a tutor and proofreader of commercial maths resources (he’s been employed since age 14 because his focus enabled him to find mistakes that more mature proofreaders missed). We have no regrets - the path we let him choose for himself, at our local public school, allowed him freedom to self develop.

WRT to OP’s choice of school options, in this digital age, kids can access resources without the school needing to provide it. There was no robotics club at our local primary school, but DS had already taught himself programming with free Python and other programs, so the P & C committee asked him to run a robotics club during lunchtime. Unfortunately, he declined because it would have reduced the time he had to play handball, but the point is, there are options to implement new things if there is the need and desire.

Advocating for gifted children can be challenging, especially in areas with limited resources. Here are some suggestions to consider:

1. Individualized Learning Plans: Request personalized learning plans that challenge your children in their areas of strength and interest.

2. Enrichment Opportunities: Ask for enrichment programs or projects, possibly with mentorship from teachers, to keep them engaged.

3. Flexible Grouping: Encourage the school to allow flexible grouping in subjects where your children excel, so they can work with peers at similar levels.

4. Professional Development: Request additional teacher training to better accommodate and challenge gifted students.

5. Social-Emotional Support: Seek support for social struggles, perhaps with guidance from a counselor who understands the needs of gifted children.

6. Advanced Coursework: If possible, discuss opportunities for accessing higher-grade level materials or classes.

7. Parental Collaboration: Stay involved and offer to collaborate with teachers to support your children's education both at school and at home.

For your daughter, closely monitor her progress and advocate early for any signs she might also benefit from similar support.

Both options have their merits, but considering your son's interests in engineering and need for peer interaction, Option 2 might be a better choice. The school’s robotics team could offer a great outlet for his interests, and a classroom dedicated to high-performing students may provide the challenge he needs. Despite the dingy facilities, a more robust PTA funding could mean better resources and extracurricular activities. However, you might want to visit both schools again and engage with other parents to get a better feel for the community and environment before making a decision.