Michaela,
It is very possible that you are gifted, and perhaps in some way not gifted at the same time. I don't know if you've heard about being 'twice exceptional' (being gifted and also having a learning disability) or not, but I noticed there's a thread about that here in this forum. It might help if you haven't seen it yet.
As an adult, I've found that it's much harder to be identified as gifted, mostly because the majority of the ways giftedness is screened for are predominantly done in a school setting. You can have an IQ test done, but to be honest, in the end it might not tell you that you're gifted anyway. Not because your IQ isn't high enough, but because there are many factors that define giftedness that won't show up in that test.
By the way, if you're gifted, you cannot be 'ungifted'. You might not be using what you have, but you don't really lose it, so if you were identified as gifted before then that means that you still are, even though you might have 'gotten out of practice'.
Here's a suggestion that might help. I have a website geared for gifted adults. I've found that many people who have come there have recognized themselves in the posts and as such have realized that they truly are gifted, even though they didn't have a recent specific test to prove it. Try taking a look around there and see what you find out. It may bring you, and your family, the relief you're looking for. It's called Gifted for Life and you can find it at
http://giftedforlife.com.I'd be interested to know how it goes if you'd like to share later. Best of luck!
