My brother and I were both gifted. My Dad has been described as a genius in engineering but clueless socially (aspie?). I don't know about my mom, she is a very different sort of person, very intelligent, but daily life tasks seem to overwhelm her. She hated school as a child. My mom wouldn't let my brother and I be pulled out for the special program that our school had just begun for gifted students because she said she thought it was elitist and didn't want us thinking we were somehow better than others.
My brother couldn't tolerate school and actually walked out of class and all the way home a couple times. My mom said at some point I just started putting zeros for all of the answers in the math assignments that were well below my ability level (I don't remember this, but she said she thought it was clever because if you didn't do the work, you couldn't have recess and I was not willing to put effort into non-challenging work so I found a way around it to where I still got to have recess).
We tried 3 or 4 "free" or "democratic" schools in California before finally being sent to a boarding school in England where attending lessons was optional and children and adults were treated as equals. I didn't set foot in a classroom between the ages of 9 and 12 but by the time I did decide to go, everyone else in those classes wanted to be there and wanted to learn so the pace flew very quickly. We never had mandatory homework assignments and I never did more than review the textbooks before exams. I loved every moment of it and although I didn't have to learn organizational and time management skills until I started college, they came to me when I needed them. I was able to skip high school upon returning to the states and I now have a masters degree and have been told I have an amazing work ethic by every employer I've had, so I guess those organizational traits don't necessarily have to be hammered in so early on in order to develop. I always sort of wondered what heights I might have reached if I had gone through the gifted program and had been pushed, but I had a very happy childhood and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Both of my DD's are gifted: my oldest is adopted and her biological parents never went past high school (I don't think that was due to lack of intelligence though), she just graduated college at the age of 20 and is starting grad school this spring (in addition to working 2 jobs and volunteering as a big sister -yes I'm very proud!!!), my youngest tested even higher than her big sister but didn't get the people-pleasing/hoop-jumping gene that big sis had and she has hated school. In hind sight, I wish I would have sent her to Summerhill (my boarding school).
My youngest and her difficulties with school led me to this fabulous forum, I just wish I had known more about the problems of highly gifted children in crappy schools. I wish I had been able to take more time off work to advocate for her more in school or at least been able to move back to a better district. Oh, well, I am trying to make up for it now, better late than never.
