My DS6 still won't let me sing along/join in sometimes. I think it's part of the perfectionism. They know how they want things to be, and they can't control our actions, so they'd rather we didn't "mess." Headstrong little things, aren't they?
It does improve as they get older.
I usually put up with being the passive observer for about 5 minutes, and then I say, "This isn't much fun for me. I can either participate, or I can go do something else and let you play by yourself. Which would you prefer?" That has worked well for us most of the time, since he gets to choose. Sometimes I think they just like to have an audience, and that's okay, too, to a point. At least for me. I get bored if I'm expected to watch cars move half-an-inch at a time for very long though!
Sorry for the specialized terminology! 2E means "twice exceptional," so that's a GT child with learning disabilities or developmental delays. You can see why 2E is preferred--much shorter to type!
That the teachers who were advocating for your son have left the school could be troubling, I think. (Unless that's merely a coincidence, of course.) I think I might recommend that you look around at other schools a little. A good teacher who sees your child as he is can make the worst situation work fabulously well; a teacher who doesn't "get" your child can destroy even the best-laid plans. I don't want to worry you unnecessarily, but if you know the director is resistant to accommodating your son, then it might be smart to consider your other options early. No reason to get blindsided and be left feeling helpless. I've been there, and it's a lousy feeling!
As for the other parents, do you know any of them beyond school? Have you arranged playdates? Sometimes that sort of thing can put other parents at ease. It can turn a competitive situation into a friendly one pretty simply. Just another thought.
Helpfully,
K-
