Hi Jen,
Your description in your second post sounds very much like my DD - she's almost 8 and in 2nd grade.

She has described her losing control as "being trapped in a cage and that a weight is on her" She too starts out VERY angry and then it turns into sobbing and saying the same things about being stupid and/or no one likes her, has no friends, etc.

I'm very interested in what you say about it being anxiety attacks. That is something I never thought of.

Finally, how did you go about searching for a development-behavior pediatrician? This may be a Dr. we may need to see.

Thanks!