Too many parents feel like they have to kowtow to the "authority" of the school. There's nothing that says you have to give up your integrity as a parent.
I completely agree. To give some perspective, I went to a Catholic elementary/middle school. My mom still attends the church attached to that school. One of the nuns recently came up to my mom and admitted that they really had no idea what to do with me most of the time. She told my mom that I was the brightest kid she had had in 30+ years of teaching and that it was uncomfortable for her because half the time she couldn't answer my questions. So much for the bastions of authority from my youth!
Certainly there are children who are so self-conscious that pointing out a failure to them that it really can devastate them. I have that flaw myself and have had to work very hard to overcome those feelings, some i never have been able to quite work out, but that's OK. I have been able to identify that the criticism really wasn't a reflection on my work as much as it is a personality flaw that i have issues with criticism. So in some odd way i am OK with it even while it bothers me.
Wow, I can identify with this one. I do think that it is partially a function of not being challenged at a young age. I never had academic "failures" (read a "B") until college. I've learned to manage this one through life experience.
I worry about my kids. I'm probably one of the only parents who was thrilled when my DD brought home a "C" on something because she didn't put any effort into it (usually, she gets straight "A"s). We talked about how it wasn't the end of the world. I understood that she wasn't interested in the project and that it seemed like busy work.
I have tried hard to find ways that it is okay for my kids to "fail." Academically, these opportunities have been few and far between. I have sought out activities that they want to try and where things do not come as easily for them, i.e. sports, the arts, etc.
