I don't know what's the right thing to do as a parent, beyond "tell the truth and share your values" which can't really be wrong.
DING!!! We have a winner!
Too many parents feel like they have to kowtow to the "authority" of the school. There's nothing that says you have to give up your integrity as a parent. Life is bumps and bruises and having to put your kids back on the bike when they know it could hurt them again.
To my way of thinking, being smart is just another talent like music, art, athletics, writing, creativity or any one of the other gifted talents we can have. Has anyone ever warned you not to mention to a child that "Gee, you seem to be great in art!" for fear that if someone tells them one of their pictures is crappy, they may never want to paint again?
Certainly there are children who are so self-conscious that pointing out a failure to them that it really can devastate them. I have that flaw myself and have had to work very hard to overcome those feelings, some i never have been able to quite work out, but that's OK. I have been able to identify that the criticism really wasn't a reflection on my work as much as it is a personality flaw that i have issues with criticism. So in some odd way i am OK with it even while it bothers me.
