Originally Posted by megmeg
I would also add that I think the original point of the praise-hard-work idea has gotten lost in the popularization.

I agree. I also think that the idea of not praising someone for a trait s/he was born with is being bundled with the idea of not being honest about a talent. Praising or over-praising and being matter-of-fact are two different things.


Originally Posted by Bostonian
Very intelligent kids figure out that they are very intelligent.

Hmm...well, I think intelligent kids know that they learn faster, but I'm not sure how readily this translates into understanding that their thought processes --- such as how they view the world --- are very different from everyone else's, and that this difference is due to their IQs (as opposed to being because they're weird, a misfit, or whatever).

I wonder how much of the social skill "problem" is due to true introvertedness and how much is due to the fact that gifted kids just don't think the same way as other kids. Obviously some gifted kids are introverted and don't have great social skills. The question is, are there more true introverts among gifted kids than there are in the general population? Does gifted-introversion become less pronounced when these kids are with intellectual peers? In other words, how many gifties are truly introverted and how many are keeping quiet deliberately, because it's better to stay quiet than to stand out when you don't want to?

Similarly, are there more extroverts in the general population than there are among the gifted?

This idea is why I think it's important for me to be honest and matter-of-fact with my kids about their abilities.

Val