When I was in school I usually made straight A's unless I had PE in which case it was inevitable that I would make one B. I competed in class for the highest scores on tests. I thought I was good at taking tests, but not much else. I was afraid to try anything new because I was afraid I would fail. I did worry that my son would be this way also.
My son, although he is twice exceptional, is different. The only praise he accepts is when he finds a way to do something that is difficult for him. Winning a spelling bee is easy for him. The challenge level is so easy that it doesn't mean that much to him. This is one way that I think video games actually helped him. My son knows that he has a higher challenge level than a lot of people on this board because of the migraines, the scoliosis brace, having to deal with a helicopter mom with anxiety issues, foot pain and low endurance because of low muscle tone, and what I think is an unusual visual perceptual problem that causes some unusual problems in reading music, math, drawing and handwriting that he has had to find ways to compensate for on his own.
Praise for him is when he proves that he can do what it takes to get the job done by the deadline even with the higher challenge level. For him, this deadline is the final dress rehearsal in musical theater. Somehow, even with all the difficulties, he manages to do what it takes. I realize that it must take incredible focus for him to do this when he is only able to practice dances about half the time the other kids practice. Learning lines and song lyrics quickly is not challenging, but putting it all together while dancing is. He proved that he can do what it takes. He gets lead roles now and he is not a back row dancer any more.
He says he likes to prove people wrong when he knows they think he might not be able to do something. He always chooses the higher challenge level. He is a gifted learner even though he has to learn differently sometimes and I am becoming more confident now that he will find a way to learn what he needs to learn even if I don't know how to help him. Now that he is 12, he doesn't want my help in some things and even though we are homeschooling he says he can learn things better on his own.
