This has been yet another interesting DITD discussion that has prompted a bit of self-examination.
I know that I've occasionally been hard on our son over the last year, and that my expectations have been too high at times. I have to remind myself: "HE'S ONLY 8!!" It's so easy to for me to forget about the need for legos & sandbox time, especially when the other activities are piling high.
At one point this spring, he had double homework loads as he prepared to participate in a special field trip with another class. This was the proverbial straw, and he made it clear that there was too much going on in his life at the moment. Right on the spot, while he sat on my lap in tears, I made a series of phone calls to bow out of a few other commitments and in an instant I could see the relief in his face.
This wasn't really a case of "pushing" on my part, but looking back, I know I should have seen the warning signs and not let the pressures mount.
The only requirement outside of schoolwork is piano instruction. He's finishing up his fourth year of lessons and other than a perfunctory dislike of practice, he'll sometimes admit to enjoying himself. My goal for practice is about half of the teacher's: no more than about 20mins/day, 4 times/week. And despite this reduced time, he's well ahead of his teacher's expectations... and that's good enough for me.
Despite the "requirement," being the kind and benevolent parent that I am, I've relaxed my expectations so that when we need to "let something go" in a busy day or week, it's usually piano. And I'm always impressed with how well he does even after a two or three week break. (Gee.. it's almost as though the breaks help!!)
For sports, he's been taking karate for three years, and tennis for two. While I definitely encourage these sports, his level of involvement is entirely up to him. With karate in particular, I'm 100% hands-off, relying on peer & instructor pressure to keep him motivated. (And after a couple facial bruises with new weapons recently, he's stepped up the practice all on his own!) With tennis, I'm involved only to the extent that he needs me for practice. I know where his coaches want him to focus his attention each week, and will direct accordingly, but otherwise it's up to him. Heck... we even manage to enjoy ourselves at the same time!
It's tough to hear the glowing praise of his coaches, teachers and instructors and NOT turn around and push him to the extent of his abilities. I know that he can perform even better ... and REALLY impress those other adults... but right now he's REALLY having fun and I don't want to screw that up. He's only 8.
