Erin, I'll run through your list here. I'll say, though, that if the teacher thinks an eval is in order, you should get one. It's better to know than not to know. A knowledgeable expert will likely be able to note signs of AS at age 3. (A not-knowledgeable expert, however, will not; get someone with experience.)
Repetition in play: yep. Had this. Also lined up toys rather than "playing" with them, or used them in odd ways.
Repetition in speech: called "echolalia." ours didn't, some kids with AS do.
Incredible memory: yes.
Learning: yes, ours was about that precocious.
"He will, for example, sit at a station and pour popcorn for one cup to the other a couple times and then just decide to pour it on the floor." Can be a cover for poor play skills, a bid for attention, or something else.
"Is extremely silly and mainly does parallel play." Our son used silliness as a way to interact, because he wanted to interact but didn't know how to do it well. Silliness can cover for poor social skills.
"She wants him evaluated for moderate to severe behavior issues." Beyond the silliness? At that age we had panic, screaming, and biting in preschool because he was so overwhelmed.
"He does not say "hi" to children and acknowledge them unless I tell him to." Ours had to be taught to do this by rote.
Having good gross motor skills doesn't rule out Asperger's. Some AS kids are deficient here, some not. There is a champion surfer with AS.
Empathy: Some AS kids do show empathy (it's a myth that they have none). Mine didn't at this age.
"Always touchy, huggy." This can be empathy or craving touch and sensory input. If it is inappropriate to time and place, or he's huggy with people he shouldn't be, this can be a sign that the child has a poor understanding of social norms.
"Always tries to make his little brother stop crying by singing to him, playing with him, or giving him a binkie." I know an AS girl who did this because she couldn't stand the sound of a baby crying.
Completely understand emotions: This may indeed be evidence against AS. Does he get the subtle ones ("embarrassed") or just the basic ones ("happy/sad")?
"Reading books: When I ask him what characters are doing in books, he's able to answer." Whether an AS kid can do this depends on their pragmatic language skills. Many can do this. Mine can, and could at that age. "Why" questions were harder for him to answer.
Re-directing, adventure: Again, most AS kids are inflexible, but this is not an ironclad diagnostic indicator.
Social: The silliness can be a cover for not having other social skills, but the eye contact is a good sign.
The only thing that is in common among all AS kids is that their social skills are poor. All the other traits are commonly associated with AS but do not necessarily appear in every kid.
HTH,
DeeDee
