Originally Posted by ColinsMum
Originally Posted by eema
I guess that I always defined "hothousing" as any attempt to make your child be or appear to be "smarter".
My first reaction to this is "oof, in that case doesn't every parent hothouse?" but on reflection, the right response is surely "smarter than what?" I certainly want to help my DS get smarter, just as I want to help him get happier, friendlier, more polite, etc.; that seems like just a normal part of parenting. I expect what you meant is something like "smarter than the child's natural level" but I don't actually think there's any such thing. "Hothousing" is just what you call providing an encouraging and stimulating environment when you think someone's doing it beyond what the child is up for (and we should all be very careful about judging that, as it's easy to be wrong if you only see a small part of the interaction). Sorry if this sounds preachy, but I get a bit fed up with how this word is often used as a pejorative that applies to Other People.

I don't want my kid to be or appear to be smarter. Not at all. I also don't want her to be friendlier or happier or more polite. She's plenty happy, friendly, and polite. She's more than plenty smart. Perhaps if she were less happy, friendly, polite, and smart, I might want to change her.

I don't think there's one right way of parenting.