I do think that there are parents who believe their kids to be equivalently or more able and who are then put-out by some of the things dds have done or "gotten" in terms of educational opportunities. This seems to come up most from the parents whose kids are bright-average or average but brighter than their parents and whose parents believe them to be very gifted as a result.
This seems to be the case here. Lately several parents have been telling me that their kids are ahead in math and that they think they should skip a grade. Generally the kids are average or brighter than average, but really probably not gifted. I guess they may feel like I would understand, but it feels more like they are saying "My kid's just as smart as yours is!" So, I generally just reply that it's a long process that involves a lot of testing, but that it has worked in our case. I kind of feel like if they do decide to pursue it they may realize that the process is a lot more involved than they imagine, and perhaps they would realize that my kids must be different enough that they would qualify for the accelerations. And then, maybe they would stop questioning us and our decisions and would stop talking behind our backs!
Amazingly, the people whose kids probably are gifted never complain at all about their children's work and they seem fine sending them to school where their children already know most of the material. I still don't know how it is that we're the first family in the district to request subject and grade acceleration! My kids are HG, but not PG, so we can't be the ONLY ones around here in the last 30 years (the last time they did an acceleration before my kids!)
Thank you, all of you, for making me feel better about this. We always have been very certain in our decisions to grade accelerate, and we have all the hard data to support it (which, of course, none of the other parents knows the extent of) but it is hard to hear that people are talking behind my back. It's like I'm back in all the social drama of high school! So, I'll have to just grow a thicker skin. Thank goodness for you all, who allow me to vent and make me feel like I'm not alone.
