I want to say one thing about being the oldest in the class and far ahead academically. I always wondered what was wrong with me that I couldn't see. Especially in the early grades, I felt I was being punished and did not know why. This was not something I was willing to bring up with my parents, they still haven't heard it.
I always felt exactly this way and I was one of the very youngest in my grade school class.
There was no id-ing of GT kids at my grade school, and even if there were, no one would have picked me out of a line up. I spend tons of emotional and mental energy trying to blend. I still catch myself doing it. For a long time, I thought I must have felt this way because I was the youngest. But now I think it was the GT extreme sensitivity that made me feel like not a fit.
I think this might be one of those issues that comes up for some GT kids unless they are placed ideally. My son has never had any of this kind of sadness or angst for the 2 years he attended school and he was one of the oldest. He always fit well socially and was just generally confident in who he was. He wondered what was wrong with the whole school system instead of himself.
Regardless, I do think this is something to be watching for no matter where or how you place a gifted child. I think my daughter had some of this angst as a preschooler last year.
