Hi everyone. I am so very glad to have found this site, and have already received wonderful advice indirectly by browing! But I have no idea where to go next with my son, so I hope some here have suggestions.

First, a little background. My son is 5.5 and started kindergarten in August. He attends a private school which is supposed to be 1 grade level above the state mandates for public school. He has never been tested, so I have no idea of his potential. I do know he is at least very bright, if not gifted. He was a late talker but once he started he was speaking in complete sentences. He started reading by age 4, was a sight learner just from us reading to him. He did not have DVDs, flashcards or computer programs to teach reading- just one day, it clicked.

He still reads very well, but the phonics they teach in school seem to be interfering with his reading somewhat. Words he used to just recognize, he now tries to sound out. Nevertheless, he is still reading quite well (Encyclopedia Brown, Charlotte's Web and the like, whatever level they are).

He also *loves* math and numbers and workbooks for math. He is currently working a Grade 2 level math book without problem, and will ignore my pleas to watch Jeopardy with me or color in favor of continuing his workbooks. He can hear a piece of music once or twice and walk around humming it the next day, and he has taken piano since he was 4. His teacher was reluctant to take him as a student, but I convinced her to at least try him for a month since he could already read (a prerequisite of hers). After 2 lessons she told me he'd already advanced more than her older students who had months of lessons. He attends the symphony with us, and people are amazed that a 4-5 year old sits enraptured for the 2-3 hour performances. He just loves music, maybe even more than numbers.

He is also an extreme perfectionist, and this trait is sometimes debilitating in that he will choose to not attempt a task if he is afraid of failure. He is also very emotional and sensitive- he cried reading Charlotte's Web when Wilbur was threatened with slaughter. I switched books on him the next day because I was worried about him continuing- I didn't think he would take Charlotte's death well at all.

I work full time, and my mother and grandmother watched him before he started school, so he has had a great deal of adult interaction and attention. He attended a mother's day out program at 3 and a half day pre-k when 4. Those teachers and piano instructor constantly made comments about how bright he is, how quickly he learns things, how advanced he is compared to his peer group, etc. Nice to hear, but at that point I was more concerned with his social skills since he was never around other children. He has grown so much over the last couple of years, and much more easily interacts with children he does not know.

However (it had to come, right?!), I don't know what to do next. I recently met with his kindergarten teacher for the first time after the start of school, and I was taken aback at the things she said. She is wholly unimpressed by him, thinks his perfectionist streak is a problem (admittedly, *sometimes* it is), and thinks his sensitive soul is emotionally immature. She said nothing of academics and this is an academic based full day program. When I mentioned the regression I was seeing in his reading, her response was something similar to "Oh, he's reading fine. He'll continue to be ok and the other kids will catch up." She thinks that kindergarten should be fun, that childhood is too short and that parents shouldn't push kids. The only time I push my son is when I tell him yes, he has to practice the piano in order to take lessons since he'd prefer to just show up for class.

For now, he enjoys school but already likes it less than last year. Since his pre-k program was only a half day, it was more play based and he had the afternoon to read, do his workbooks, play soccer, etc. Now, he really only enjoys school on days when they do a particular computer math program.

I don't know if I am overreacting and if I should just take a wait and see approach. I don't want him to become disruptive or, worse yet, discover that he can slide by with little to no effort and still get good grades. I took that route and even though I graduated with honors from HS, college and grad school, I was a horrible student who never learned how to study and push myself. I worry that he will get to that point as well.

I don't really want to test him, because that is just a number. I don't really want him in public school since the teachers are forced to teach to the test in Texas and our local district does not have a full day gifted class until 3rd grade. But at the same time, we are not wealthy and I pay quite a bit of money for my son to attend a school where his teacher seems content with him performing at a "fine" level.

I'd like to talk with his teacher again, but I don't want to antagonize her. She is supposed to be the best at this school and is very, very highly regarded by everyone who hears that she is his teacher. I've kept quiet with other parents about my concerns, but I really didn't like her dismissive attitude at the conference. I also don't want to be "that parent" and seem as though I'm bragging about my son.

Anyone who has met such a teacher have any advice on how to proceed? Other than with caution. : )

Thanks in advance.


PS- Sorry this was so long and rambling!