I think I'd be careful about using the metaphor of having lost your child, actually, especially when you're talking to him, but even to yourself. This is him: this is how he is right now, these feelings he's expressing are what he's feeling right now. His behaviour may not be the behaviour you want to see from him, but I think it could be dangerous to encourage him to disown his feelings or behaviour. [ETA: To be more positive, what I mean is, I think it might be more productive in the long run to help him see that he feels how he feels, and then he chooses how to speak or act: his words and actions are his, and he can choose to change them, if he sees a good reason to do so, e.g., that he is hurting someone else.] Just my 2pworth.
Last edited by ColinsMum; 11/02/09 03:12 AM.
