I chatted a little about what we do on the other thread (the "obey" one, as I recall), but thought I might add a few remarks here:
-eating well starts with shopping (or growing!) well--if you only have good stuff in the house/on the table, then the choices they make will be good ones.
-it's nice when mealtime is pleasant--sometimes I'll use the china and silver and linen and flowers on the table just for fun, sometimes I get out a picnic blanket (even an indoor picnic when it's raining outside is fun!), sometimes we'll have a theme meal (Indian night, Greek night, all food is orange [or green or whatever] night...), sometimes we'll have a round-robin tell-a-joke night--it's nicer to eat when everyone is happy and enjoying themselves.
-something dietitians tell mums of babies/toddlers is not to worry about balance in one meal, or in one day--that a day where your child eats only tomatoes, for instance (we had a lot of those!) will ultimately be balanced by a day where he eats a lot of beans or whatever. I think that this still may have some validity for older children, too--you might try having a look at the balance over a month, rather than at one meal.
-I'm not saying that this is the case with anyone here--I'm sure it's not--but it can be too easy to let what is a nutrition issue turn into a power issue. We don't praise them for eating, we don't scold them for not eating, we neither coerce nor cajole nor limit; we simply present a wide selection of good foods, let them select what they want, and generally treat them as we would want to be treated ourselves. We have no food problems at all at our house; they eat good nutritious food and they don't waste anything, because it never turned into a struggle for power. Of course we occasionally have disagreements about other things--what family doesn't?--but I absolutely refuse to have power struggles around something as elemental--and personal--as food.
peace
minnie
