One thing I've also done is convince my son that rest is as important as sleep. I read this somewhere and since he is a HUGE medical junkie that takes medical advise VERY seriously, it's helped to pursuade him to lay in his bed quietly after reading time. If he can get to that point, he will usually fall asleep pretty easily. I sometimes tell him that while he's laying there his cells are regenerating and stuff like that. He likes the thought of becoming more powerful, so that also helps get his buy in.
He still sometimes pulls the "what's that noise" game, or the I need a drink of water game, etc. I guess that's just part of being a kid.
My husband and I also treasure our alone time, so our son's sleep issues have been challenging in the past! I am happy we've finally gotten to a reasonable schedule for us. I hope you can get to the same place.
By the way, I found that classical sleepy time music actually excited my son when he was a baby. Not sure what you are using, but you might want to change his bedtime rituals bit by bit, so you can evaluate what is and is not working.
