so sorry you are going through all this. It sounds quite frustrating. I don't know if you really want any advice or thoughts on this, I would assume so...but if you didn't want any words of advice then feel free to skip on to the next post from someone, LOL.
In reading your post it sounds like DS is gifted, but that he also has difficulty processing information, focusing on details, organizing data, etc. You mentioned Dysgraphia and "ADHD type issues" does he also have an ADHD diagnosis? Because what you are describing sounds a lot like ADHD. I have worked with lots of intelligent and some gifted children with ADHD that have similar problems with assignments. It could also be some other type of learning disorder, NVLD (I honestly don't know much about this one but thought I would throw it out there). It really doesn't sound like he is benefiting at all from rushing through things. The anxiety, the tantrums, the meltdowns, none of that sounds fun at all. He obviously isn't gaining from that and doesn't feel confident in himself in those areas at all. It sounds to me that he has limited control over these behaviors and they are a result of something else going on with him. And the more anxious he becomes about it, the more mistakes and things he will make.
I would suggest pursuing finding out more about what could be causing things difficulties and maybe adjusting his workload based on this, or having him do his assignments differently (typing, etc.). I do think it is important to teach him attention to detail, you don't want to let everything slide. But if it is truly something that is that hard for him to do and has limited control over, then he needs the tools to help him to be successful and it is not fair to expect him to be able to perform in that way.
And as to the writing assignment you were thinking about giving him. I say no way to that one. I see what could make you think that would be a good idea, but it would make things a lot worse by pushing that. Especially since he isn't doing it on purpose and is just going to make him feel worse. I do understand being that frustrated though and wondering what in the world you are supposed to do and how to teach him. We have had many times with our DS4 that we wonder how he could possibly be so smart, and yet so dumb as well. I feel bad saying that, but it is true. Maybe not the best way of putting it, but true nonetheless.
Hope that is somewhat helpful. Just my 2 cents. : )
