I'm not sure I have any advice but reading your post made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. laugh cry

So much of what you wrote about your DD3's preschool experience, I could have written about DD6's first grade experience. Fortunately I'm seeing more progress now that DD is self-advocating. She understands the need for "just right" books-not too hard and not too easy. Having her request more challenging books seemed to affect the teacher more than my requests.