Looking back, I do feel I made a mistake in putting DC in a preschool environment that was inappropriate for more than half of his lifetime. I was advised that things would get better, but this turned out not to be true. His self-esteem took a beating. By the third year, the other kids got the idea that he was a pariah (in part due to his record of acting out). Sadly, even when he was acting appropriately, they would point and whisper, or actively "tell on" him. Being around kids DC couldn't have a real conversation with for more than half his life and being consistently on the margins still affects him. One major lesson I've gained is to listen to my child's cues over the recommendations of educators who feel they have seen everything and know what's best.
Don't beat yourself up too much about the past. We make decisions based on the best information available to us at the time. The key is working to change things once you realize and accept that the current situation is no longer a good fit. Even if you find something that is a good fit, our kids change so quickly that it may only be a good fit for a year or two.
Also, my totally unscientific observation on the acceleration issue, people often have strong feelings based on their personal experiences as a child. If someone had a good experience with acceleration or was not allowed to accelerate but wanted/needed to, they tend to be stronger advocates for acceleration with their own kids. If someone had a bad experience with acceleration or was content with their lack of acceleration, they tend to be in the "don't accelerate" camp.
