I'd like to underscore what spaghetti wrote. I was actively denied any academic match. I barely lived through high school, much less graduated. I was a teacher's nightmare, my goal was to distract the teacher so that the lesson would not be fully taught and then I would break the curve without doing homework. Or maybe get a D- when that plan didn't work. I gave up on school the first day of high school when the english teacher started teaching.... parts of speech. So very elementary school. I quit. I quit on school, relationship, and nearly on life. I was suicidal throughout high school.
I developed several psychiatric disorders during my childhood from the academic and social mismatch. I'm still struggling as an adult. No college degree, I've taken a few semesters here and there that don't amount to much. My parents 1) didn't want to push me and 2) my dad has weird anxiety about acceleration and 3) they actively prohibited me from doing anything my 3 older siblings had done because I would surpass them. (My dad is neurotically anxious about sibling rivalry, to the point he has limited/strained relationships with all of his children and grandchildren). What he thought was protecting us severely scarred all of us.
What burns the most is a classmate and I were equal in musical ability in elementary. My parents (both musicians) picked a terrible teacher for me and then cut me off after a few years of lessons. My classmates parents were supportive of him. He ended up with full ride scholarship and is a professional musician. I tried to keep up with him into high school and ended up with multiple hand injuries that have been plaguing me ever since. Physical therapy doesn't help. My striking talents both depend upon my hands - talents I could make a living off of... if I hadn't ruined my hands from not having music lessons.
Perhaps TMI, but hopefully building the case that refusing academic match is harmful and neglectful, with lifelong negative impact for the child.
