I've lived both sides of this!
My son is 9 and still not completely able to recognize when he has a problem in music. Or he knows he makes a mistake on a specific spot but doesn't now why. Or he is so absorbed in musicality that he has no interest in accuracy.
Piano was awful for us, too much emotional baggage and family pressure. Maybe someday. In spite of very obvious high musical aptitude, he didn't have instrument lessons until 8 years old. Around 7 years old I started exposing him to trying various instruments. Nothing stuck, nothing fit. 8 years old I ended up taking a leap of faith and buying a trumpet, conditional on 3 years of lessons and practice.
When I sit with him during home practice, he would progress quickly. When I didn't sit with him, he made no progress. He didn't know how to practice (and there have been glitches with his ADHD treatment). Fortunately he LOVES trumpet, idolizes a trumpet musician and is self motivated. But that wasn't enough.
The turning point came unexpectedly in 3 ways this past summer.
1) His band teacher switched schools and didn't have openings for private lessons over summer. I turned to the Internet to answer instrument specific questions. In doing this, we switched him from melody-based practice to technique-based practice. These are TOUGH exercises. But he's not getting stuck in the melody now. He's better able to stop and break down the problem. (Also because of modeling and my guidance)
2) The significant one was we started Love & Logic parenting over the summer. I had to draw the line "I am not responsible for your trumpet practice, ability, skills" and "it really drains my energy when you are argumentative, disrespectful, unresponsive, oppositional in trumpet practice" and he'd do chores to "put my energy back" after trumpet practice. Only took a week, and home practice was no big deal.
3) With his overall behavior improved with Love and Logic, he earned back screen privileges - use of his iPad, which has a tuner app on it. When I let him loose with the tuner app, for the first time he was practicing independently. Mom wasn't giving him feedback, a precision impartial, objective tool was giving him instant feedback. It was a huge difference. I also had saved college-level trumpet instruction webpages on his areas of interest on iBooks for him to read independently (because he doesn't have internet privileges). Now "real" professional musicians are the source of information, not Mom.
Since these changes, he has improved so much in how much he practices, how goal-oriented and focused his practice is, and -most important to me - he's not fighting about trumpet practice anymore! Getting away from his band teacher was a big step forward. His band teacher wasn't hard enough on him (my son says so). His teacher would give him directions, but hot hold him to it. My son chose to not take trumpet lesson with him this coming school year. He now prefers to do trumpet with me - because "I'm picky" and hold him to work to his potential. And he makes more progress with me in the areas he is interested in - tone, intonation, articulation.
You can research for yourself, but it's well documented that musical achievement is tied to parent involvement. Practice requires prompting. Individual practice skills require prompting.
Extreme musical talent is not enough. I am example of that. My musical aptitude is off the charts. My parents were both piano teachers when I was a child. My dad is a piano technician to this day, and my mom keep their piano sales storefront open. I had violin lessons when I was too young to remember. I believe ages 2 - 4? I never progressed in violin. I had high ability in piano, but my parents "didn't want to push me". They put me in lessons with a horrible teacher for 3 years. That teacher had no idea I lacked proper instruction and publicly berated me in the school cafeteria (where we had piano lessons) for not being able to read music -- because I'd never been taught. After that I had 3 years with a good teacher. That's it. I tried to continue to progress like a classmate of mine. He had been my mom's piano student, but unlike me, he had parental involvement and guidance. We had been at the same level at one time. In high school, I pushed myself so hard (without instruction) that I developed repetitive stress injuries. Carpel tunnel, tendinitis, so many. Everything from my shoulders down is messed up. I couldn't play at all for years. My classmate with family support.... Yeah, he's AMAZING. Went to music conservatory, he's so skilled. Not just talented, but trained and skilled. And uninjured.
My parent's desire to "not push" resulted in physical and emotional injury. I have a piano. I hate it. (Family heirloom, I'm stuck with it). I can barely play physically. And playing it is so emotionally upsetting I can't bear it. Sometimes I learn a little something and it's nice. And then I stupidly record it, am horrified, and the cycle repeats about once a year. If only they knew.....
