I guess, for DS, with puberty has come a bit of a transition from idealism to pragmatism. This happened when it happened. I don't think there's anything I could have done to accelerate the process.
For DS14 we saw a significant increase in maturity, responsibility, and independence between the end of 7th grade to the end of 8th grade. Our friends and neighbors have said similar things about their boys "getting it together" in 8th grade. DS14 now does his 2-3 hours of homework a night on his own (occasionally asking for help), organizes study groups with his friends, and so on.
We're hoping against hope for this transition in DS12.
