You absolutely have not given up. What you did was make some decisions so things became more settled. You decided on meds, on a planner, and you decided to stop trying to get people to do their jobs.
Thank you for the reframe! This decision really made itself. I simply don't have the time or resources to spend 100% of each on DS, especially since nothing was helping (at least in terms of 504/IEP), anyhow.
DS now carries around his 504 so he can feel confident in what he asks for and so he can show the teacher that he has a right to it. One day, your son will grow into that kind of self advocacy. He'll know when he's been screwed and he'll pull out his paper and show them.
The mental image of little DS whipping out the 504 made me giggle. He is extraordinarily passive. I don't know exactly how to encourage self-advocacy, but maybe the signs he's showing, in terms of a little more self-awareness, are a first step.
Anyway don't be put off it some teachers don't get your kid. Others will.
Yes, I think the most shocking part of The Year From Hell was that, in the past, his teachers seemed to get him and like him (despite himself, sometimes). I'd expected the gifted teachers to get him *more* but that was not the case.
I will add, though, that this year he has a couple of more seasoned gifted teachers on board--and they (so far) have not said he is doing anything offensive or unexpected.
You need to take care of yourself. Hopefully you have some time for exercise, a drink, and a night out now and then. Having a 2e kid is exhausting though (do I ever know this...) and sometimes vegging out in front of the TV is sufficient relief. But the point is, take care of yourself too.
Not sure if PTSD-induced tachycardia counts as cardio...
but yes, a little down time and "time off" from 2E, very important. I'm leaning toward an abundance of cats and audiobooks, since even keeping eyes open for TV is a stretch at the moment. I wonder how many Crazy Cat Ladies had children with disabilities? Maybe there's a thesis in there, somewhere...
My son went through all the editorial iterations when he submitted a short story for the high school literary magazine. All the student editors loved it. It went to the faculty sponsor for final approval; she wrote "i don't get it" and that was that. Sigh. But he went on to write and produce a play in college, so the experience didn't keep him down for long.
I'm glad your DS is resilient. I think mine is, too--he doesn't seem to take it to heart much when teachers don't like/get him. The neuropsychologist mentioned in her report that DS "has decided people either like him, or they don't, and there's nothing he can do to change that." I'm pretty sure she was using that as of evidence of his social deficit, but I think there is something okay about that. Surely it's healthier than constantly trying to change oneself, self-loathing, or futile people-pleasing.
He's done some amusing things this year, trying to learn from past mistakes. One: a teacher complaint from last year was that he wrote IDK on many test responses (and she was convinced this was laziness). I explain to DS this is perceived as being smart-alecky or lazy. So now his strategy is to write a lengthy, apologetic "I am sorry, but I don't remember enough details to answer this question properly." LOL, DS. Even this could be seen as being a smart @$$ but he's trying, so I'm leaving it alone.
He will absolutely NOT attempt an (essay) answer unless he is positive he knows every nook and cranny of it. Next on our list of goals (I'm enlisting help for this one--namely Uncle who shares a very similar profile and sense of humor with DS)--learn the fine art of BS.
DS doesn't understand that he would receive a lot of credit just for his command of language. So we are going to teach him how to answer a question without actually saying anything. I graduated with honors in English using just this method...but I was more savvy than DS. Of course, that is true of [insert any inanimate object here]. So DS' curriculum will be "learn to play the game." Now he knows there *is* a game, so that is learning, too. Right?
DS sounds like he is going to turn out fine, in spite of school, not necessarily because of it. The challenge is getting him from here to there.
I hope. And yes. Never a dull moment.
