Update:
I called the county 504 intervention individual, and they reiterated what the school counselor stated - that the new 6th grade teachers need to see how DD does in class before they will create an addendum to DD's 504. So I asked how I was to handle the fall out at home when DD realizes she forgot her homework. The woman stated that while DD may have done that last year, that was in the past, and we need to see what happens this year. She stated that I could ask to have the 504 meeting in the next couple of weeks after the teachers have gotten to know her.
Thoughts?
Our ds' school also purposely schedules the annual 504 updates in the fall a few weeks after the start of school so that teachers have a chance to get to know the student (the previous year's 504 is in place still so accommodations from the previous year are in place). I share a bit of your frustration over the policy! However, if you can't get a meeting any sooner, schedule the meeting asap and document what happens in the meantime.
I'd also look at the situation in a very specific way - rather than worrying about a potential meltdown and anxiety, make a plan for how to handle the organizational challenges together with your dd. Our ds is extremely challenged with organization of this type (remembering what assignments are assigned, bringing home the materials he needs for the day's homework, returning assignments and turning them in). Middle school (6-7th grade in particular) we worked worked worked at helping him get organized on our end at home rather than relying on the school to make it happen. The byproduct of that pro-active approach was we helped ds avoid the anxiety that occurred when he didn't have his materials to work on or when he forgot an assignment etc. It wasn't perfect, ds didn't always like it, and it was a slow process, but it did produce results and helped ds become much more successful at handling his organizational challenges. This is what we did - and you might not be able to do the same thing based on your dd's school situation, but the idea is to set up some type of system that is a daily routine with oversight from someone (it could be you, it could be a teacher at the end of the day, it could be a teen you hire, whoever), and stick with it so that it's repeated every single day. In our situation, we drive ds to school and his middle school teachers posted the assignments for the end of the day on their whiteboards in the classroom. DS had an iPad he could take pictures with. When I picked ds up, I went into the school, verified he had his picture taken on his iPad, had him tell me what the homework was in each class, had him think through what books/supplies he needed to do each homework assignment, verified that they were in his backpack, and we left. After homework was done we went back over the list, verified he'd done all of it and that it was in the backpack. I also would ask him at the end of each day when I picked him up "Did you turn in ___?" (from the list of what was due that day).
DS *hated* it - so we had an agreement that bits and pieces were dropped (like the locker/backpack check etc) after he'd gone a certain amount of time without missing an assignment.
Not sure that will be helpful in your situation, but I found that it helped me to focus on what I *could* do to reduce anxiety and help support building skills.
Good luck!
polarbear
