I don't recall ever specifically using the term "gifted" with our children, but they do have some idea that their skills and capacities are out of the norm. Then again, in our extended family, they are really near the middle of the curve, if not a little below (depending on how far from the nuclear family we take "extended"), so maybe not that far out of some norm. I am not averse to using the label, but it hasn't been a necessary construct for us, mainly because we have structured their formal educational experiences so that as many of the predictable obstacles as can be have been avoided, and been in situations that have allowed them to be successfully avoided.
The language we use is also heavily influenced by my own childhood experiences, which were based on the principles that
1. Each human being is equally valuable, simply on the basis of her humanity, without reference to skills, talents, physical qualities, gender, class, etc.
2. Native abilities ("gifts") are accompanied by the responsibility to develop them, with the purpose of doing good, in proportion to the magnitude of the gift. (AKA, "with great power comes great responsibility")
There are numerous permutations of the responsibility one bears, including being intentionally respectful and gentle to those who have not been provided with the same abilities or opportunities. And respecting oneself and one's own gifts enough to embrace them.
