Aufilia - I'm hesitant for preschool for him for a few reasons. Although he can handle the mental tasks, his short stature and developing motor skills and still undiagnosed gi issue (resulting in frequent bowel movements) have me scared he may be a lot to handle for someone who doesn't know him. He has to climb on the toilet still, and isn't the best at clothing himself properly (inside out and backwards doesn't phase him). He doesn't ask for help at home, but we're fortunate to have a very low seated toilet in his bathroom, but a small step stool is still too short, so he had to fully disrobe waist down to go. He's beginning to seemingly get better at these things, but he's also not fully clothed like he would be at school, and I could imagine the panic of trying to get the shoes off and everything else while trying not to have an accident. We're low key here, him running around in lightning underwear didn't bother me. I'd have to really feel like they wouldn't shame him for having to constantly go and require help to do it. I'm sure I'm just freaking out a little, but averaging 10 times a day seems like a major hassle for whoever he would be in class with.
To be honest, I don't think any of this would preclude attending a good Montessori preschool. The key here is GOOD, because anybody can use the "Montessori" name without actually having Montessori certification, so you really have to do a bunch of school visits, observations, and talk to people about the programs near you. But in any good Montessori school, the environment is designed to be completely accessible to kids, including the bathrooms. All our previous preschools (not just Montessori) had kid-size toilets.
The Montessori "Practice Life" portion of the curriculum is designed to teach them skills of independence, such as putting on their own coat, buttoning and zipping, pouring liquid, cleaning up a mess, folding towels--I kid you not, my kids were obsessed with folding towels after learning how at school. Sometimes to entertain them at home I'd just throw a couple clean dozen washclothes in the laundry so they could "help". Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that in a good program, they will seriously be all about helping him develop skills like dressing and undressing etc without shaming him for not knowing these things, because teaching things of this nature are part of the philosophy.
My DD#1 has sensory processing disorder, gross motor delays, balance issues, and was later diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's. She's been in 5th % for height her entire life and qualifies for just about every therapy you've ever heard of, starting with PT from 20 months of age onward. She did Montessori preschool from age 2 1/2 through age 4 1/2 and it was the best school experience of her life so far.
