It's hard because, as a parent, when you see potential, you want to act! Here are my thoughts on keeping our schedule (mostly) manageable.
1. Does my kid have a passion for it? If they have a passion, they're more likely to work hard, and less likely to want to quit. And, of course, they enjoy it which at least 50% the point of extracurriculars.
2. If it's not their "gift or their passion" what are they getting out of it? For instance, my DS takes martial arts. He did not like it when we started, but I did "push"-- not because I want him to be Bruce Lee, but because the character benefits for his particular personality were worth the initial struggle.
3. What do they give up to pursue a particular activity. In our case, we work hard play hard. The school week is packed with homework and activities- the weekends are 75% activities of choice-- if DS wants to go to the park, ride his bike, immerse himself in one of his pet "projects," or veg in front of minecraft or a movie, he's earned the time. I don't force much over the weekend, and have deliberately selected activities that only occasionally require weekend participation.
This paradigm works well in our house- but everyone's different.
