How do you choose which activities to pursue, how much to spend, etc. Well, I try to look at the
developmental arc that I can see, and recognize what it needs to look like at {theoretical endpoint}, while understanding that I don't control everything.
Some of the things that were concerning to us in making this determination:
- DD hated formal instruction, and it was better for her to NOT have a perfectionistic/graded/judged construct for a lot of activities-- so sports that had win/lose components, or scoring? Not so much.
- Sensory issues-- DD needed to be pushed in directions that made her UNCOMFORTABLE, because she naturally avoided such things.
- Developmentally, DD needed little encouragement to "entertain herself" (but in the instance mentioned above-- I'd strongly consider that a developmental NEED) since she tended to live in her own head a little too much, if anything-- so tolerating crowds and noise were a thing, at least for her.
- Follow-through was a point that we emphasized with our DD-- that adding/dropping activities like mad was not a great way to live, generally speaking, and that there is a special relationship with activities/individuals that we've lived with for a long time. It was important to us that DD experience that very normal cycle of love-frustration-indifference-habit-love-frustration-loathing-indifference-habit-love with a few things, just to develop a good work ethic. Most children develop that through academics, but that's not likely with an HG child. I quail to consider what her college entry would have been like without the discipline and mental fortitude imposed by 10 years of piano. It needs to be something HARD that they love intrinsically for it to be a good candidate for this particular lesson, IMO.
Hmm-- costs. Well, those are whatever seems affordable and realistic and ethical to your own family. Being aware of this being a 1st world problem is the first step to judiciousness, there, I think.
I do understand the pull of wanting to FEED POTENTIAL.
The problem is, it's not really
mine to feed. DD is unwilling to much be guided, also-- so as soon as we FED an interest, or seemed overly invested in having her pursue something? She'd
drop it. From reading here, I gather that this is a not-uncommon feature in high-autonomy HG+ kiddos. It's exasperating as all get-out for parents, since they need expensive/unusual materials to follow interests, but as soon as you provide them, they shut down because you're too involved. (Ugh.)
