Given what you've said, HSing would absolutely still work for your family, Gatorgirl!
I think your DH is way off on this one. (No offense!) But your flexibility with your son and how you solved that homework problem so well says to me that you'd do amazingly WELL as a HS parent! It's a plus for you, not a minus!
Here's my thinking: Did the homework get done? Were there any ill effects from the way it got done? Was it late or poorly finished? Was your DS happy and cooperative because of how you approached the problem? Then I'd say that was a truly successful bout of problem-solving! The only thing that I can see to trouble your DH is that you thought creatively to do what worked best for your child rather than being a hard-nosed "Toe the line or else!" kind of person. Well, in HSing, working well with your kid is a plus, not a minus!
There is no "one right way" in HSing, there's just the way that works for your kid.
One of the benefits of HSing is that you can work when it suits you and play when it suits you. Your DH seems to be assuming that you'd be doing the "school at home" method--sit in a chair for 7+ hours and do everything out of schoolbooks with the parent as the teacher/expert--but I know of literally *zero* HSers who use the "school at home" approach. It's boring and hard and especially for a GT child, it's just flat unnecessary to spend so much time on schoolwork. With my 7yo, we spent about 2-3 hours on schoolwork each day roughly 4 days per week. And I worked him pretty hard! In that time, we covered 2 years of math plus a good chunk of "real" geometry (because he was bored with arithmetic and not quite ready--at age 6--to memorize his times tables). We studied J.S. Bach because he got fascinated by his life. We read about tide pools and the animals who live in them. We read about Sacagawea and other Native Americans, he learned about archaeology and read lots of history and poetry and fiction. His reading improved by at least 3-5 grade levels over where he started in less than a year! (I'm not exactly sure which because I didn't find a good above-grade test for him.) All that in 8-12 hours per week of work. And I'm not including all the art classes, Spanish classes, P.E. classes, engineering, learning about the Olympics and trying out the sports (thank you, HS group!)... It was a good year! He really loved the work, too!
From late elementary school-high school, the kids tend to work 3-5 hours per day or so. That's usually plenty. The rest of the time is spent on fun extras or a child's particular interests.
If you think about it, that amount of time makes sense. Consider how much school time is spent waiting in line for the the bathroom, waiting for the rest of the class to catch up, moving in a line from here to there, dumb convocations...When you HS, you don't have any of that. And if your child likes to read before bed, well, that counts as schoolwork! If you're a morning person and you want to get school out of the way at the crack of dawn and play the rest of the day, that's great. If you are not a morning person, and you'd rather work in the afternoon when the caffeine is working for you, that's great, too.
You're flexible and your daughter is self-directed...sounds like a great HS situation to me!
