I'm with you, OHG.
I think self-confidence is mostly what keeps a kid from being bullied. For some kids, the knowledge that they could fight if they had to is what gives them that confidence. Others don't need that.
I never thought I would have to physically fight, and I never moved in that direction. I had a different kind of confidence. The fact that I didn't care if I was popular or not was a great source of strength and courage, since it meant I would not go with the mob. (And ironically, it meant that I was generally pretty well-liked and well-respected.) I had a very strong sense of self, and bullies couldn't break that in me, so they just backed down. Every time. But I was never in a physical fight.
(Again, I do think some of this was because I was a girl. The rules are different, I know. But I think boys who have a strong sense of self tend not to have to fight either. A strong self-confidence affects the situation the same way, regardless of gender, I think.)
For a kid who doesn't have that strong sense of self, I do think that Austin's idea of befriending the hangers-on is a good idea. Finding people on the outskirts of the group--not those in the center of the gang, but the ones trying hard to fit in or the ones who are similarly alone--is a good plan for cultivating pockets of resistance to the bully. Bullies target the weak and alone. If a child is not weak or not alone--either one!--that child is a less attractive target.
