I'm enjoying this thread! When my DS7 was a toddler and preschooler, we didn't know he was "gifted," but he was a handful. I've come to realize now that "giftedness" is one lens through which I can understand his behavior. It doesn't make it an excuse or the "be all end all" explanation-- but knowing where he is intellectually does explain some things and enables us help him find better coping mechanisms.
As for being "special"-- he's in the 99.9 percentile for intellect and achievement for his age. While I have too have issues with the word "special" (especially if it implies that my kid is better or more deserving- he's not) in sheer math terms, make him different.
For example: DS was disengaged and unhappy in a regular, traditional classroom. The more both he and I tried to talk with the teacher, the more his situation was misunderstood. The teacher continually kept trying to convince me that DS had issues with comprehension even though their own testing demonstrated (emphatically) otherwise. I think it was because the "sheer math" was not on our side- DS is an outlier and it's easier and more understandable for a teacher to look for more obvious explanations when a kid is struggling.
