I can't spend very many hours a day with my (I think profoundly gifted) son because eventually I lose my cool and start using all kinds of bad parenting techniques like empty threats and shouting. He spends most of his day (8 hours) in a good preschool program so I shouldn't even be complaining but the reason we put him there is because I cannot manage him at home.
He refuses to do pretty much anything you tell him unless it involves eating something sweet.
Has to be in control of everything. (He even says "Don't look at me./Don't scold me/ Don't shout/ The answer is Yes, Say Yes Mama")
He is what they call in his preschool "a flight risk" - he'll take off running or go hide somewhere.
He never wants to 'do the next thing' - even with preparation, talking about it, planning ahead, setting timers. even if it's something he likes: music class, grandparents house, school, library, swimming. the answer is always No. and he ALWAYS makes it difficult.
He behaves significantly better with other people, especially those he is less familiar with. grandparents and familiar teachers at school have started to get the same treatment as we do at home.
We are not indulgent parents, but are probably not the firmest or most consistent with our boundaries. It is really hard because he finds every single boundary every day.
It's also hard because he is amazing and social and sensitive. and the temptation is not to crush or stamp any of that out. How do you not crush his spirit and his abilities and his opinions and will, yet still be firm, authoritative parents.
anyone have a similarly spirited and willful child? or feel completely useless as a parent?
