Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy What would you say?

You're not answering their question.

They didn't ask whether you thought your child was special. They asked why you made the decision to homeschool.

Telling people your kid is different, unless the child has MS or something, is really not going to get you a lot of love at the park. You might as well put a tee-shirt on her that says, "Special snowflake not to be ruined by the tepid public services (which no doubt suffice for your child)."

MANY of children learn differently. They go to the gifted program or get an IEP, or both. They suffer while mom works to keep the health insurance and dad works to pay the mortgage. They sit there, politely, under the radar, and teach themselves to write with both hands, backwards and forwards, so that their single mom can go to school so they can get off food stamps someday. They come home every day and cry. They write story after story after story about astronauts... Their parents fight with the school, fight and fight to get the kid services. The kids sit under the eaves and read a book while a big kid throws a ball under them. They hide illiteracy through outbursts. They hide intelligence by refusing to do homework. Your daughter learns differently--welcome to the club.

It's a conversation killer because it indicates a level of cluelessness with respect to what everyone else is going through, how everyone thinks their own child is special, and how YOUNG your child is (at four, children are all over the map with respect to development). Of course you see her learning differently, but I'd say unless you've taught pre-school for a decade, you really aren't placed to evaluate that.

What would I say?

Well, how about you enjoy being able to go at your daughter's pace, and it's something that is working for your family so far?

How about, she seems to be making great progress in the home environment and it's something that you are happy to do, so you're going to do it as long as it works?

You think she's very self-directed and so you'd like to see her continue to develop that for now, since you have the opportunity.

How about, There are a lot of different reasons but ultimately it seemed like something that would work for our family.

I wish you the best of luck in homeschooling. It's something I'd have wanted as a child, but my mom couldn't afford it...