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Really, it is not a smart girl's duty to defy stereotypes any more than it is her duty to fulfill traditional gender roles.

No, it's not--and I would never dream of requiring my DD to join the chess club. However, it's a little depressing to hear her talk about why she doesn't want to join it, and I do feel it's my responsibility to have that conversation so she gains a bit more of a nuanced understanding of her behavior and what it might reflect about the world at large. (I don't worry about my comments pressuring her unduly, as she is a wildly independent person.) She's a bright child. It's of interest to her, and it should be.

She has not joined the club, but she has stopped playing "silly chess" during class chess games.