Our YDS is a pro at this already! Thanks for sharing your story. I agree, most of ODS' behavior "problems" were really just finding something else to do after he'd done whatever they were supposed to be doing.
This is my DD to a tee.
DH and I have finally figured out that the world is divided into two distinct groups of people for my DD-- those IN her circle, and those outside of it.
She is quite slow to show people the "real" DD underneath the "perfect" exterior. Well, it's not that she's "perfect" exactly (she still mostly does as she pleases, and ignores what she doesn't like, but she's very quiet about it and seemingly angelic/placid/agreeable the whole time). People outside that circle LOVE her and think she's the cat's pajamas, and only rarely notice the flaws, or discontinuities in the scenery, so to speak. They also tend not to really understand how gifted she is. She shows them
exactly what they need/want to see.
It's only with those inside that circle of truth (who she lets in) that see the ravening beast that she can turn into when thwarted, and who get treated to her mouthiness and verbal precosity. LOL. Boy, are THEY surprised...
We call this "{DD}'s Inner Circle. Think Dante."
I also have a vague sense that many adults who have made that transition with her tend to have an impulse to
apologize to DH and I for their earlier judgments about us and our parenting.
