Without solving the root issues we were doomed to repeat the freak out over and over and over and over again which just resulted in him being punished over and over again. We're now working with him to teach him how to self soothe and problem solve and it has brought the number and intensity of freak outs way down almost immediately. It is more about teaching the skills to avoid the massive out of control melt down in the first place.
I concur strongly with this, but I'll also point out that The Explosive Child is quite clear that the
worst time to try to teach those skills is during a meltdown. What you need to do is wait until she's happy and calm, and then talk to her about problem solving in the future.
